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The Office: Andy's 10 Funniest Quotes | ScreenRant

Andy Bernard was introduced to the ensemble cast of The Office when Jim transferred to the Stamford branch and the show needed a new target for his pranks. But Andy ended up sticking around until the series finale, earning a spot in the opening credits along the way.

RELATED: 10 Things About Andy Bernard In The Office That Make No Sense

By the end of The Office’s nine-season run, Andy had become the new regional manager of the Scranton branch (and, by extension, the new series lead). Over the course of his unexpected seven-season arc, Andy had a bunch of hilarious lines — and not all of them are about Cornell.

10 “Beer Me That Disc.”

When Jim and Andy are sent out on a sales call, Andy says “Beer me” to ask for a water bottle and claims that the half-baked joke “gets a laugh like a quarter of the time.”

Throughout the episode, he uses the term “Beer me” in a bunch of different contexts. When Jim wants to listen to music and vetoes a cappella, Andy says, “Beer me that disc.” When Jim has finally had enough of Andy, he tells the camera, “Lord, beer me strength.”

9 “Andy Bernard Does Not Lose Contests. He Wins Them. Or He Quits Them, Because They’re Unfair.”

In the two-part season 5 premiere “Weight Loss,” every branch of Dunder Mifflin enters a contest to see whose employees can lose the most weight. When the Scranton branch starts to fall behind, Andy boldly declares that he never loses contests.

But he then adds that he doesn’t always win them, either, because he quits them if they seem unfair. Based on his attitude toward the weight loss contest, he probably deems any contest that he doesn’t win easily to be unfair.

8 “I Went To Cornell. Ever Heard Of It?”

A lot about Andy’s characterization changed over the years, as he went him to anger management to get a handle on his temper. But one thing that never changed was his obsession with his Ivy League alma mater, Cornell University.

Back in his college days, Andy was a member of an a cappella group called “Here Comes Treble” and he takes pride in the fact that he had four solos and Broccoli Rob only had three.

7 “Break Me Off A Piece Of That Fancy Feast.”

When the office is preparing to shoot a TV ad, Michael holds a brainstorming session in the conference room. Andy rattles off a famous jingle: “Break me off a piece of that...” — and then he gets stuck. He spends the rest of the episode trying to remember how the jingle goes.

RELATED: 10 Ways Andy In The Office Was Actually A Great Guy

He’s got the whole thing except for the actual brand name (which is the point of an advertising jingle). At first, he thinks it’s “Chrysler car,” then he thinks it has to rhyme with “piece.” The real version, of course, is “Kit Kat bar.”

6 “Do Not Test My Politeness.”

When Dwight plans to get Jim fired by doing a favor for everybody in the office so they’ll owe him one, Andy throws a spanner in the works by returning the favor immediately.

Andy turns social convention into a militaristic operation: “You give me a gift? Bam! Thank-you note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor? Wham! Favor returned.”

5 “Sorry I Annoyed You With My Friendship.”

When Andy first arrives at the Scranton branch, Michael initially really likes him because they have all the same interests. However, he learns from Jim that Andy is a “yes man” who’s just pretending to like all the same things as him.

On top of that, Andy’s clinginess and intensity rub Michael the wrong way. When Andy proposes a night out, Michael bluntly tells him, “I don’t want to do any of that.” Already irked by one of Jim’s pranks, Andy snaps at Michael.

4 “Truck To Refrigerator To Dumpster, 360 Spin Onto The Pallets, Backflip Gainer Into The Trash Can.”

One of the most iconic cold opens from The Office sees Michael, Dwight, and Andy getting into parkour and annoying their co-workers by doing low-stakes parkour around different points in the workplace.

When they take their parkour outside into the parking lot, Andy intends to jump from a truck onto a refrigerator onto a dumpster and eventually onto some pallets before finally backflipping onto a garbage can. Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite pan out like that, as he falls straight through a cardboard box.

3 “I Guess You Could Say I’m In One Of Those Classic A**-Tattoo Incentive Situations.”

In the final two seasons of The Office, Andy led the Scranton branch with a very different managerial style than Michael’s, but he wasn’t above making ridiculous blunders like his predecessor. In an attempt to incentivize his employees, Andy offers prizes in return for points earned for hard work.

RELATED: The 10 Saddest Things About Andy In The Office

But he makes the mistake of making tattooing his butt one of the prizes and allowing the employees to pool their points together. Suddenly, the office starts working harder than ever to get enough points to tattoo Andy’s butt. A panicked Andy calls the author of his book on business to get his advice on de-incentivizing his employees so he won’t have to go through with it.

2 “If It Wasn’t For Secretaries, I Wouldn’t Have A Stepmom.”

Andy has a penchant for revealing sad details about his family history during his rambling talking-heads. While celebrating Secretary’s Day for Erin, Andy says that if there were no secretaries, he wouldn’t have a stepmother.

Andy’s parents are together whenever they appear in The Office — even when they’re recast with different actors — suggesting that Andy’s dad had an affair with his secretary, married her, and somehow eventually got back together with Andy’s mom.

1 “That Was An Overreaction.”

When Andy irritates Jim with his self-recorded a cappella “Rockin’ Robin” ringtone, Jim hides Andy’s phone in the ceiling and calls it incessantly. At first, this is just a fun prank, but then Andy reaches his breaking point and punches a hole in the wall.

As soon as he realizes what he’s done and sees everybody in the office staring back at him in stunned silence, Andy awkwardly tries to play it off as “an overreaction.”

NEXT: 15 Of The Best Dwight Schrute Quotes From The Office

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